April 2, 2025
When DJs Become the A-holes: Real Stories from the Wedding Circuit
What do you do when the CEO's nephew wants to commandeer your DJ booth mid-event? How about when a client expects free services because you "have a connection"? These real-world ethical dilemmas plague professional DJs, and Brian B and Joe Bunn are tackling them head-on.
Drawing from Reddit's notorious "Am I The A-hole" threads, we dissect five scenarios that reveal the complex moral territory DJs navigate at every gig. From wedding planners demanding last-minute changes to the uncomfortable territory of overtime requests, we share our combined decades of experience to help you handle these situations with both professionalism and business savvy.
The overtime discussion proves particularly revealing – exposing our different philosophies on flexibility versus firm boundaries. Brian advocates for clear policies established during planning, while Joe takes a more situational approach. Both perspectives offer valuable insights for DJs at any career stage.
Beyond ethical quandaries, we showcase practical tools that make DJ life easier, including Brian's game-changing mini heat sealer that keeps on-the-go snacks fresh during marathon events. Our music finds segment has Brian delivering three exceptional tracks that solve specific DJ problems: transitioning between genres, offering clean alternatives to problematic artists, and bridging musical worlds seamlessly.
We wrap with an honest conversation about DJ networking behavior. Why do some professionals feel compelled to name-drop venues and brag about rates? How can you avoid these common pitfalls while building authentic industry relationships? Our candid discussion might make some uncomfortable – but that's exactly the point.
Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting your DJ journey, this episode delivers actionable wisdom on navigating the interpersonal challenges that technical skills alone can't solve. Subscribe now and join the conversation!
RESOURCES & LINKS
Our website. Please leave a review! - https://www.beyondthedjbooth.com/
To book Joe Bunn: https://bunndjcompany.com/
To book Brian B: https://djbrianbofficial.com/
Joe’s Gear Finds on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/djjoebunn
Brian’s Gear Finds on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/djbrianbofficial
DJ Event Planner free demo: https://www.djeventplanner.com/signup.php
Brian B's Coaching Options: Https://www.thdjscreativeedge.com
Chapters
00:23 - Podcast Intro with Brian and Joseph
02:39 - AITA: DJ Ethics Reddit Scenarios
10:29 - Overtime Policies and Late-Night Dilemmas
16:17 - DJ Gear Corner: Mini Heat Sealer
19:53 - Music Finds and Remix Recommendations
25:57 - Handling DJ Networking and Name-Dropping
Transcript
WEBVTT
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we're back.
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Another episode of beyond the dj booth podcast.
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There we go, featuring your boys brian b and joseph bunn.
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So are you, uh, putting a lot of things in your crm these days?
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Which crm are you using, tell?
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me, you already know, we already know, they already know djeventplannercom is the way to go for your crm.
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Shout out out to our sponsor.
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We appreciate you, troy, and the team over there.
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So another icebreaker for you.
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I was looking up trending things and have you seen this on Reddit?
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Are you on Reddit, do you even?
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Oh, you don't on Reddit.
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No, it's like one of my guilty pleasures, really Just scrolling.
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Okay, colin loves it, my oldest son.
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So so, aita, you know what that stands for?
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I don't actually, I asked a quant, he didn't know oh, am I the a-hole?
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So basically, it's like these uh scenarios that are presented, yeah, where it could be either way, like the person telling the story could be the a-hole, right, and they like then all the comments.
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So I went on reddit the other day, okay, and looked up any DJ scenarios I could find.
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Oh my yeah, under this A-I-T-A yeah.
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So I'm going to give you the scenario A-I-T-A Okay, go ahead.
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And then we're going to ask the question am I the a-hole?
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Okay, and you got to tell me which one you think it is.
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Sure, are you ready?
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Yeah, scenario one.
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On Reddit you can find it.
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The wedding planner kept demanding I change the schedule on the fly, even though the couple and I had already locked everything in.
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At one point she snapped I don't care what the couple told you, do what I say.
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I told her I take my orders from the bride and groom, not you, and stuck to the plan.
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She gave me the cold shoulder the rest of the night.
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So am I the a-hole for standing my ground.
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I don't think he's the asshole.
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I mean, I think to me the only person that trumps the wedding planner is the couple.
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Right, the couple hired the wedding planner or I think maybe their parents.
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In the hierarchy of power at a wedding, that's the only people I can think that would be above the wedding planner.
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I've not had this happen to me, though.
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I haven't either, but I also feel like he probably could have phrased it a little bit better to not become across as the a-hole.
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So he is the s-hole in your point.
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I mean, she didn't help the situation either, right, but in this scenario I probably would have gone along with what the bride and or, I'm sorry, what the planner is telling me to do I think I would have.
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No, I'm going with a couple on this one.
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Okay, yeah, all right.
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Yeah Two.
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This couple booked me until 11 PM, but at 10 55, the bride comes over and asks if I can play an extra hour as a favor, because they're having fun.
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I tell her I can do it.
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Since the party is still going, I shut everything down at 11 PM sharp.
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Am I the ale for not giving her free overtime?
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These are hard man.
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Can you answer first?
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Well, this scenario would never happen to me, cause I don't do overtime anymore.
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I quit that a long time ago, yeah.
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Hold on, you're playing a party.
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You're telling me, I don't care who it is.
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Bride client runs up five or ten minutes until stop time.
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Hey, brian, people got going late.
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Maybe there was traffic, maybe people just didn't have enough to drink.
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Can you play another hour, you know, for whatever your rate is Okay, so this conversation happens at the booking level, right?
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before we even no and we talk about it on the planning, I mean we talk about it, the planning, I mean.
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I talk about this ad nauseum I do too, but what I'm saying is there is going to be a situation.
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I haven't ran into it interesting, but if I did, I would say no problem same, because you were just saying I ain't gonna play every time I could pull that card because my contracts go.
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This is the start time.
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This is the end time.
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There is no overtime option in mine.
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I don't think there is on mine either, but if somebody did, this runs up to me.
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But I would never be saying, hey, here's my overtime rate.
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If they want to take care of me on the back end as far as gratuity and everything like that, no problem, but I'm not charging them 200 to play.
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An extra hour for me comes across a little petty, but that's just me so you're potentially playing the overtime for free?
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yeah, it's built in, but it's not, because I mean it's not built in.
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But, like I'm saying, I'm building it in at that moment situation.
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But if I play over, hours.
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if they said, hey, how about another hour?
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Then okay, we're gonna have a conversation.
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Because I think we've talked about this before there's diminishing returns the later you go, sometimes in those after parties or over time.
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So we have this.
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This is why I'm telling you we have this discussion at the planning call and we say listen, we're ending at 10.
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Yeah, however, if the party's jamming, I'm having no problem going a little bit longer, but I need to be able to be the person to make that call because, I know how it's going to end and we want to make sure we end it with people wanting more.
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That's the sign of a great party, absolutely.
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That's kind of the way I frame it.
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I agree, I definitely have had that conversation multiple times.
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I do it every time.
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It's part of every conversation so that there's no gray area when we get to the event, like a one more, like a one more song chant or five or ten minutes pass or whatever.
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Man, I'm fine with that.
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No, you're not getting a bill, but if I'm playing an hour, an hour, 60 minutes or more than that, you're getting an invoice after the event since we move to this.
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No overtime.
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Yeah, I have can count on one hand going beyond.
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Well, here's, well, here's the other thing about it, man, you and I are in a price point and in a tier where it is very, very, very difficult to pull off anything over that stop time.
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Right, because there are 10 or more people that are going to be affected Thousand percent the wedding planner, the limo driver sitting out front, the cold sparks guy waiting to deploy the catering staff that has to sit there and clean up.
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The florist that's sitting outside waiting to come get her florals out.
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Joe Bunn, brian B, waiting, you know, playing another like it is damn near impossible for somebody at a nice wedding to pull off overtime.
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Our team.
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We have the policy of we do collect it before the overtime commences, okay.
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However, if, for whatever reason, they don't have money, on them Whatever?
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yeah, no, check you, tell them do it.
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We'll take care of you.
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Don't cause a scene, Right exactly.
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Nobody's going to stif you over $400 overtime fee or whatever it is Now.
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If they asked me to do it for free and I was working for somebody, then I don't know, I'd bring it up to my boss.
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Let them take care of it.
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Right, right, if you were the DJ in this situation, are you the a-hole for not giving her free overtime?
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I'm not giving her free overtime, okay.
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Not an hour, I'm just not.
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Okay, I don't know.
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I don't know why the girl freaked out.
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I don't know.
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Let's go with.
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Maybe she's the wedding last year.
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This year they reached out asking if I'd mix a special playlist for their anniversary party.
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I told them I'd do it for two 50.
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They were shocked and said we thought we had a connection.
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Can't you just throw something together as a favor?
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I told them I don't work for free.
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Am I a hole for charging a past client for a simple playlist?
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These are nuts.
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I thought we had a connection.
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Who's ever said that to you?
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I've never had that happen.
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Man, I wish Randy was here, because he's really good at, like you know, building these relationships and like continuing on into people, like having babies and still commenting on their Instagrams years after the wedding, Like I would be curious what Randy would say Listen, Spotify playlist, no problem.
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A mix where I got to go over to that console and put shit together and nah, you're getting charged for that.
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Yeah, same, okay, all right.
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Number four at a corporate event oh, this is a good one.
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The CEO's nephew, who dabbles in DJing, kept trying to get behind the booth.
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He told me he knows what the crowd wants and asked if he could spend.
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I said no.
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The CEO later told me I should have let him have a moment.
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Am I the a-hole for shutting him down?
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I think if he had been persistent, I probably would have found somebody that works at the company or found out who is the CEO, and I would have gone up and asked him.
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You know, is it cool if your nephew plays a few songs, because then if he sinks or swims, it's on him.
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You're not the person standing up there anymore and again, like we were talking about in the previous episode, I'm disclaimering on the mic.
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Ladies and gentlemen, we've got you know, bob the CEO's nephew, little Kevin, here.
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Little Kevin's about to rip it up, and if little Kevin shit the bed, then it's on him.
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Yeah, you know, like it's not one of your team, it's not something that was preplplanned.
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You're just putting him on as a favor to the ceo, right, and you said that now to the audience, right?
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What about you?
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I think I need more context like if he's being a tool bag with the way he asks, right and annoying.
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No, I'm not doing it, but if he's like super nice and like respectful and you know, I think similarly, I would definitely want to get some context all of these are giving me like the creeps.
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All right, last one, I hate these.
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A guest kept asking for ridiculous song requests that I knew wouldn't fit the vibe.
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So I jokingly told him $20 per request and I'll consider it.
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He actually Venmo'd me $40 immediately.
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I played one of the songs but I ignored the other because it was way off brand for the couple's playlist Off brand.
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At the end of the night he came back and demanded his money back, saying I scammed him.
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I refused jesus the a-hole for taking the money and only playing one song.
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Yes, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it.
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Give him back 20 bucks.
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What are you doing?
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yeah, you didn't play it.
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Yeah, no, you definitely.
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If he's gonna give you the money, he expects the song and you definitely should have given back the 20 spot.
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Yeah, easy as this, the only one that's easy for me.
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Go to Reddit.
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Read up on some others.
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Hold on.
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One more last thing I would have also said why did you even give him your Venmo handle in the first place?
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Cause then he's got you.
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Yeah, he you know you're his, you're 20.
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He just sent you 40 to give.
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I have one in the queue, nah bro, that's crazy.
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That's crazy.
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I hate.
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I don't even like the guy that did it.
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Yeah, he's the asshole too.
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The requester.
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There we go.
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These are crazy.
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Hey DJs, are you still showing up to gigs with a flimsy facade or, worse, a banquet table?
00:10:28.450 --> 00:10:29.011
It's time for an upgrade.
00:10:29.011 --> 00:10:32.581
Bun gear dj booths are built for serious, mobile djs who care about presentation lightweight, durable and designed for speed.
00:10:32.581 --> 00:10:35.491
Our aluminum booths look pro and set up in minutes.
00:10:35.491 --> 00:10:43.275
If you want compliments and referrals before you even drop your first track, head over to bungearcom and level up your setup today all right.
00:10:43.375 --> 00:10:46.432
So uh, gear corner, so I thought I would bring you.
00:10:46.432 --> 00:10:48.831
I feel like we need a stinger for the gear corner.
00:10:48.971 --> 00:10:50.696
Yeah, who should we get to make it?
00:10:50.735 --> 00:10:52.206
dude, this is take one can you make that?
00:10:52.206 --> 00:10:57.307
This is my snack bag so take us to every gig, but I want to show you something in particular.
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I thought it would be good to at least show you what's in this snack bag.
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So is the gear topic the satchel.
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No, what's in it?
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Specifically one item.
00:11:05.140 --> 00:11:06.384
There's multiple items.
00:11:06.384 --> 00:11:08.414
I know people are going to ask me, like, what the hell's in here?
00:11:08.414 --> 00:11:10.926
Yeah so I'll give you some, some ideas here.
00:11:10.926 --> 00:11:15.839
So, uh, we have a little holder here for the drink.
00:11:16.019 --> 00:11:23.155
Yeah, no, for the energy drinks right I figure at a wedding no, that's the one tara gave me that right.
00:11:23.155 --> 00:11:24.745
She bring it with me to every one of them.
00:11:24.745 --> 00:11:25.868
Yeah, it keeps it cool.
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Secondly, I think it looks kind of tacky to have like an energy drink back there.
00:11:29.625 --> 00:11:31.049
It does kind of blinds it.
00:11:31.049 --> 00:11:34.366
But that wasn't the item and it keeps you cold got some snacks, energy bars.
00:11:34.687 --> 00:11:39.385
I got, uh, some of these electrolytes, electrolyte powder, yeah but the one I wanted to show you.
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This is one of my go-to pistachios.
00:11:42.270 --> 00:11:50.413
I love pistachios, but the problem with this is when you open the bag, there's no resealable thing there right yeah enter in.
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This is a mini.
00:11:52.636 --> 00:11:53.778
There's no way, dude.
00:11:53.778 --> 00:11:57.197
Not only does it cut, it seals it back up for you stop it.
00:11:57.197 --> 00:11:58.841
So I'll let you even demo it.
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Is it really work?
00:11:59.926 --> 00:12:04.244
And it comes with a usb stick so you can charge it this is called mini heat sealer.
00:12:04.364 --> 00:12:04.616
Open it up.
00:12:04.616 --> 00:12:05.269
Open them like I would normally.
00:12:05.269 --> 00:12:05.734
Yeah, yeah, should I open it first?
00:12:05.734 --> 00:12:05.852
Yeah, go open it up.
00:12:05.852 --> 00:12:09.331
Open it like I would normally be heating it, yeah, but this is the problem, right.
00:12:09.331 --> 00:12:12.133
You open it, then you've got to fold it, it's in your bag.
00:12:12.133 --> 00:12:12.875
It's a mess.
00:12:14.046 --> 00:12:15.291
The thing is it keeps it fresh.
00:12:15.291 --> 00:12:16.173
It's open.
00:12:16.173 --> 00:12:19.128
Okay so now you want to seal it back up, right?
00:12:19.128 --> 00:12:28.899
So wherever the cut is, just hold this down and do it like this oh down, yeah, no way, that's working.
00:12:28.899 --> 00:12:33.384
So let's see Dude, no way Sealed up, keeps things fresh.
00:12:33.384 --> 00:12:34.485
You can do this in your household.
00:12:34.524 --> 00:12:36.871
I'm sorry, I thought you were saying it's going to cut off the top.
00:12:36.932 --> 00:12:40.073
Well, it can, if you use this, the bottom button, it'll cut it.
00:12:40.073 --> 00:12:51.529
I was doing it to seal it back, for completely sealed up, because it heated, it, it heated it damn, this thing's gold, what do you think?
00:12:51.529 --> 00:12:55.876
Price point 1978 oh man, you were doing so well a couple weeks ago.
00:12:55.876 --> 00:13:04.498
Here we go 1029 1029 on amazon damn bro so that is gold.
00:13:04.498 --> 00:13:08.794
You gotta have it in there, because if you get these kinds of things, I agree you know I don't want the whole sack.
00:13:08.956 --> 00:13:11.481
Yeah, yeah, so this keeps it, so it's fresh.
00:13:11.481 --> 00:13:17.153
I do love the stash.
00:13:17.153 --> 00:13:20.294
Then to open it, you just use the bottom one.
00:13:20.294 --> 00:13:24.477
Yeah, let me turn it back on See how it did it here, so it opened it back up.
00:13:24.477 --> 00:13:25.758
Wow, that's not gear segment.
00:13:25.758 --> 00:13:26.899
Good stuff.
00:13:26.899 --> 00:13:27.919
What else we got here?
00:13:27.919 --> 00:13:30.640
All right, I was going to play you some tracks Music finds.
00:13:30.900 --> 00:13:32.422
Yeah, a little bit of music.
00:13:32.783 --> 00:13:38.086
And we're getting into event season when this drops, okay, this one's from Direct Music Service.
00:13:38.086 --> 00:13:41.727
This Wordplay Ooh, okay, this is APT.
00:13:42.650 --> 00:13:44.056
Are you playing that track?
00:13:44.056 --> 00:13:46.451
How's it doing for you?
00:13:46.451 --> 00:13:46.773
You using it?
00:13:46.773 --> 00:13:47.794
I hadn't played much this year.
00:13:47.794 --> 00:13:48.738
Yeah, we played it.
00:13:48.957 --> 00:13:49.399
How'd it go?
00:13:49.399 --> 00:13:51.023
Yeah, I mean.
00:13:51.023 --> 00:13:52.159
Yeah, you got to go in and out.
00:13:52.159 --> 00:13:53.009
You don't want to stick in it long.
00:13:53.009 --> 00:13:53.974
Yeah, no, it was fine.
00:13:54.450 --> 00:13:55.514
Somebody requested it.
00:13:55.514 --> 00:13:56.918
Okay, and it was okay.
00:13:56.918 --> 00:14:04.918
We were in like a request period and then we went to Pink Bunny Club and there was some other requests and, Okay, this is.
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