Oct. 23, 2024

Gala Drama, Planners Gone Wild and Joe Turns 53

Gala Drama, Planners Gone Wild and Joe Turns 53

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Ever found yourself stuck in traffic, not knowing whether to laugh or cry? Imagine this: a simple drive from Raleigh to Charlotte morphs into a four-hour adventure, thanks to the unexpected chaos of election season in North Carolina. We recount the hilariously frustrating saga of roadblocks, security searches, and Brian's gig for WIPA. 
But the roadblocks don't stop there. Navigating through the world of wedding planning, we face the challenge of working with planners who insist on being the sole contact point. When communication goes silent, what's the best move? We share personal tales and strategies for managing these tricky scenarios, debating the balance between maintaining professional relationships and ensuring a successful event. Delve into the reasons planners might stick to this approach, from past vendor mishaps to trust-building strategies like joint calls. Join us for insights and laughs on another Beyond the DJ Booth podcast.

Make sure to head to our website www.beyondthedjbooth.com

Chapters

00:21 - DJ Life

09:59 - Navigating Communication With Wedding Planners

Transcript
WEBVTT

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what's up, everybody and welcome back to Beyond the DJ Booth.

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We're still here.

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Still here, we're doing it, we're doing it.

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What's going on, man Dude.

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I'm on fumes.

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This man came in hot from Charlotte, North Carolina.

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We don't have a sponsor so I won't show the brand, but this is caffeine right here Energy Drink Central.

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It's not even one o'clock bro, I know it was late night and early morning.

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Let's, let's talk about it, let's hear about it.

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What, what's going on?

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This was in charlotte.

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No big deal, it's two and a half hour drive allegedly, allegedly okay.

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One thing I've I just have to say it up front like election season sucks right, like just especially in a purple state when everybody's visiting here let's hold on before we say anything further.

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We're not going into politics no, no, no, that was like my rule with mike walter I'm like I don't give a shit who you like.

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No, I don't care who you like.

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I'm not gonna say who I like and don't like.

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We're not doing politics on this particular podcast no let's just say in general during an election year, it's a shit show, right.

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Your issue with it was a candidate, okay, a candidate came into town, oh no, and basically shut down the entire highway.

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Wow, and the thing is, you don't know when it's going to be done.

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I'm sitting there, third car in line, cops are in front of me and I'm like how do I get out of this mess?

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like I gotta get to a gig yeah, you know, but you left mad early to be.

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I did, but I mean I still, you know this candidate was coming to town.

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No, I had no idea.

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I think you and it wasn't you.

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Somebody else told me just mentioned it to me, so literally I knew this before you left Raleigh, north Carolina.

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I knew when I was sitting there.

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I'm like's up, like, and so I'm checking the news like what's going on anyway, I don't know my way around, charlotte no, so I'm like trying to reroute, yeah, and it's taking me up another freeway but that's blocked off.

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So then I go on to google maps and I'm like, hey, avoid highways, yeah.

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So then it takes everybody down some podunk town, basically one lane.

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I'll show you the photo.

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Like, look at this photo.

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This is like literally what I took.

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I had nothing else to do whoa, look at this I mean, this was like an extra two hour detour that I was not expecting it took you four and a half hours to get to charlotte.

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Four ish wow because this is what was going on, like literally everybody's trying to get around, but then was the candidate at your hotel that you were playing at.

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I don't think so.

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I don't know because you did get full on like cavity search I think that's new pretty much.

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So you know, I've played at many hotels, yeah, and this was hey, we need to uh, have you go down a certain entrance.

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Yes I've been to this place.

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I know what you're talking about.

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Security guard comes out and he goes hey, we need to get out of your car.

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I'm like why?

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He's like we have to search it and I got one of your co2 cannons.

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I'm like this is gonna go real well, right, and they share it with a bank yeah, I think that maybe has something to do with it.

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I don't know right so the guy comes out with a wand and he's like he's got the mirror that he holds up underneath and all that stuff.

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He did me like that three, four or five years ago too, oh my, with no presidential candidate in town, yeah, but anyway shout out to whippa.

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They crushed it north carolina's whip.

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But I go to all the engages so for me to be impressed takes a bit, and this committee did a great job I was proud to be a part of the association that being said, yes, so I was playing the after party.

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Yes, they had a band playing before me.

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The band was actually solid players, solid players.

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However, the playlist let's talk about this for a hot second.

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The most cliche five songs Hold on.

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Before you say that WIPA is comprised of North Carolina wedding professionals.

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And what would you say the demographic was?

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I would say it was probably heavy female 25 to 40-ish.

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Ish, Okay, there was a few gray hairs I wanted.

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I wanted to hear that before I hear the first five song from the band we got the funk they started the opener, opener, okay these two are gonna be.

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You're gonna know these brick house, wow your favorite, go on.

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And uh, your favorite, play that funky music.

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Go on, I will survive number four.

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So they've yet to make it out of 1975 yet then you talk about a left turn, so this was an urban band.

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Apparently there's one country.

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Hold on a second, can we address something?

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Saquon?

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I know you don't have a mic.

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I thought you couldn't say urban anymore.

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Oh, is that out?

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I don't know.

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I mean you're not gonna get canceled over it, but it's I.

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Yeah, I don't I.

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Somebody gave me that memo a year or so ago, okay, so what's the what's the what?

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I don't know we're asking people.

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We're asking saquon like he speaks for the whole community.

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We want to keep it in that yeah, okay, he's okay, yeah he's speaking for the community.

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We're gonna leave it at that go ahead.

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They had a guest singer, a country guy, who came out and took a left turn and went to wagon wheel.

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Six, fifth or sixth song in then went to friends in low places, number six or seven, and I'm like what is?

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Happening right now and they were playing them.

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Okay, it wasn't that right, like, yeah, I saw the video you sent me, but, like, the playlist is a mess so were people into it.

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I think at first they were, because they were kind of dinner was delayed, so they were supposed to play from 8 to 10.

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They didn't go on till 9 20 so they had a 40 minute set right.

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They stopped right at 10 because they I know they may have pre-programmed what they're gonna play, so they didn't shift at all knowing they were an hour and 20 minutes late.

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So when I went on I'm like, oh, this is gonna be, I'm gonna smoke these.

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This is gonna be great you know.

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So the after party ended up being like a different set than I was originally going into it with, because I was thinking they were gonna play all the hits yeah, and I was gonna go more deep cuts yeah, no.

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So I had to play more of a open format set and, uh, it was great until the end when I was told 10 to 12, yeah, and again I think it was miscommunication not with the committee, but the actual venue.

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Yeah.

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Because, again, it's with the bank.

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Yeah.

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So at about 1140, lights go full on like ugly lights in a club.

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I'm like am I done?

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Do I keep playing Like what's happening?

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And it just killed the whole vibe.

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Shifted the whole energy and I played for another, I don't know 10, 15, but it was just not that part of it, but the party itself was great, Like once I started playing and it was fun and all over the map it was great.

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It was a good gig.

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Dude your boy's going into a triple header.

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You know I don't do those anymore.

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What tonight Are you starting tonight?

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Yeah, okay, so Thursday, friday, saturday.

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Yeah, thursday, friday, saturday.

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All weddings, no, thank God.

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Tonight Like an opening of a building, okay, rooftop vibe setter.

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No dancing probably.

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Tomorrow night rehearsal dinner, which I rarely do.

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Are they going to dance?

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Or is this just vibey music, I think early vibe, and then they're going to move outside, which I'm like there's a hurricane coming, I don't know how violent it's going to be.

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It doesn't sound very great, and then maybe I can get them to dance.

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She sent me a good dance list.

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Okay, but you're not playing.

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The wedding Is the company playing the wedding?

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No, I don't think so.

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Wow, I think they have a band.

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Yeah, and then Saturday wedding.

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Okay, so three totally different kind of things.

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Also, this week you had a birthday.

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I did bro Right?

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I?

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did.

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Yesterday as of when, like what if something catastrophic happens?

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That's true.

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You know what I mean.

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Anyway, this is pre-recorded.

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What do you want to batch?

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content for these people, right?

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We want to.

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We want you guys to have a new episode every week, right?

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Anyway?

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So what'd you do for your birthday?

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Were you still having weekend plans?

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It's on a weekday, I feel like?

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I feel like it was.

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It was on a wednesday, pretty non-eventful.

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Went to the spa, hit a little massage.

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Okay, well, 2 pm massage.

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What type of massage, though?

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Non-happy ending?

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Just a standard swedish back, lower back and shoulders yeah swedish, but I was here all day and I was redoing the bulbs.

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I didn't like the way they were hanging and I put together that desk over there for sake one, and that way you do it.

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53 or I don't know I just I was like, I was like I don't know what we're supposed to do today, like you know, and ashley's got work and she's got a super important job, and I felt awkward.

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What do you want me to ride around in my car and listen to music all day?

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It felt more comfortable just to come here, take a little break, hit the spa and then we went to that La Terraza place last night.

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Oh, you did.

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Yeah, what did you think?

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Solid?

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The food's good too.

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It was really good.

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But the vibe did you sit outside?

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No, it was too hot.

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It was in summer.

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This was like the perfect night to sit outside.

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They sat me inside and I just kept looking outside, jealous, yeah, and I was like we got to get out there.

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And she went and talked to the hostess yeah, she was talking to the.

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Oh, it was.

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Yeah, okay, it was an event space.

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They had all kinds of stuff up there, yoga, I'm sure people got married up there.

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And then that guy, samad, who owns some other restaurants around here.

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He opened it up as a restaurant.

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I think it would kill as an event space.

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I don't know that it did well, but it could have been owned by the city.

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I don't know.

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Yeah, I don't have any speculation all right anyway, it was pretty uneventful birthday, but it's not a milestone number, right?

00:09:13.274 --> 00:09:15.596
You know you're looking at 53 like it's not.

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It's 55 considered a milestone, I mean I think it's fives and tens oh right, I mean that's like on the half let's do something good.

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Yeah, let's do it, okay.

00:09:23.168 --> 00:09:25.001
Well, you want to jump into a question, sure?

00:09:25.001 --> 00:09:27.625
Let's do it I found this one online.

00:09:27.625 --> 00:09:28.528
Yeah, I didn permission.

00:09:28.528 --> 00:09:30.150
What do you mean by that when you say that?

00:09:30.150 --> 00:09:31.773
Well, just in the DJ groups.

00:09:31.913 --> 00:09:32.534
Okay, okay.

00:09:32.720 --> 00:09:35.389
I reframed the question because I didn't have permission to share it.

00:09:35.509 --> 00:09:35.909
I got you.

00:09:36.179 --> 00:09:37.767
But I think I get the tenor of.

00:09:38.028 --> 00:09:41.162
Right, so we're not going to say shout out, so-and-so from like Cleveland.

00:09:41.162 --> 00:09:48.908
Yeah, so yeah, with the questions man we always want, Instead of me and you just chit-chatting about whatever happened in our lives.

00:09:49.048 --> 00:09:54.413
And I feel like this is something that's come up in multiple forums and even on our mentoring calls.

00:09:54.413 --> 00:09:58.317
I think we've had somebody allude to this before and I'm curious if you've run into it.

00:09:58.476 --> 00:09:58.777
Read it.

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Doing a wedding and the planner is insisting that every single bit of communication goes through them.

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This started with contracting Me making it out to the client, but she sent it to the client to have it signed.

00:10:09.350 --> 00:10:11.851
And it me making it out to the client, but she sent it to the client to have it signed, and has continued since.

00:10:11.851 --> 00:10:12.312
That wasn't bad enough.

00:10:12.312 --> 00:10:16.794
She isn't great at communicating herself, sometimes one or two weeks before getting an answer from her.

00:10:16.794 --> 00:10:18.296
How would you handle this?

00:10:18.296 --> 00:10:26.583
I have a feeling a shoe is going to drop at the wedding that I'm not aware of and I'm overly stressed about it you ever run into this, not to this degree no, have you?

00:10:26.663 --> 00:10:28.807
I feel like you have yeah, why don't you talk on it?

00:10:28.807 --> 00:10:32.815
And let me kind of just chime in on what I would do If it happens now.

00:10:33.015 --> 00:10:38.047
Yeah, it's usually like it ain't going to happen again, because I'm not going to work with that person more than likely.

00:10:38.248 --> 00:10:45.782
Now I will say that because I feel like I've got enough referral leads in the pipeline that one planner isn't going to define me.

00:10:45.782 --> 00:10:47.904
If you're new in the business, you can't do that.

00:10:47.904 --> 00:10:51.270
You know you're going to get a reputation for being hard to work with, right right.

00:10:51.270 --> 00:11:00.004
The other thing I think that's great because we have a planner currently who's kind of changed her philosophy and operates like this Sure, and I can't work that way.

00:11:00.004 --> 00:11:02.591
I have to have direct communication with them.

00:11:02.591 --> 00:11:04.142
But there are people on my team.

00:11:04.142 --> 00:11:07.429
This is why a multi-op can be advantageous for you.

00:11:07.429 --> 00:11:13.065
Yeah, and my guys are like I don't mind, I'll do it so great it won't be me ever working with this planner.

00:11:13.065 --> 00:11:18.687
But we got other people who don't mind that kind of pressure or stress and can kind of work with that limitation.

00:11:18.866 --> 00:11:28.400
To me I feel like every gig you have risk out there and it's about how much risk you're willing to have out there to deal with something like this.

00:11:28.400 --> 00:11:40.190
For me, if I was dealing with a high-end planner, I would not want to risk my work being out there and fumble it because I didn't have communication to know, especially if it was like an ethnic wedding and I didn't have the right music.

00:11:40.190 --> 00:11:49.207
No, wi-fi like it could go terribly for me and I just make the wedding bomb because I didn't have any of the intel, because I never had any direct communication Right.

00:11:49.207 --> 00:11:50.851
So for me I'm not willing to take that risk.

00:11:50.851 --> 00:11:52.946
Other people it may not be as big of a deal.

00:11:53.167 --> 00:11:54.260
What if it did happen Like?

00:11:54.260 --> 00:11:58.024
What if this is happening live, Like somebody is just trying to take over?

00:11:58.024 --> 00:11:58.826
I would defer.

00:11:58.826 --> 00:11:59.951
What do you mean You'd get?

00:12:00.030 --> 00:12:07.485
out of it If the planner is saying, hey, I want everything to go through me yeah, okay, and then try to reach out to these people.

00:12:07.485 --> 00:12:14.413
No, I would just play nice in the sandbox on this one and then know that, hey, this kind of planning mindset isn't for me.

00:12:14.653 --> 00:12:19.136
What if it's like the listener or the person you hijacked the question from?

00:12:19.136 --> 00:12:23.408
What if, in this planning process or in these final weeks leading up to the wedding and you can't?

00:12:23.448 --> 00:12:51.770
get an answer from her are you willing to circumvent the planner then and go to the client and hold on to park question and also be like yo you know Carol is not responding to me Like I need to know what your first answer is, or I need to know if you want me to shorten it, or I need to know how to pronounce the last name, you know, chris Butnick, or whatever I would personally take the risk and show up and hope that the planner gets me this intel man.

00:12:51.899 --> 00:12:53.024
I don't think I'd go behind her back.

00:12:53.024 --> 00:12:55.990
I just feel like that's going to lead to problems.

00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:58.368
I think I'm different on that you would reach out.

00:12:58.368 --> 00:13:11.714
I think I would definitely reach out to the client and just say, hey, I'm just having some trouble getting on with the planner, like there are some holes in this timeline that I need filled in order to do a good job, and if that takes him getting thrown under the bus or not referring me again, I probably, like you said, don't want to work with them again.

00:13:11.714 --> 00:13:14.955
Anyway, yeah, I mean, we are very lucky here, man.

00:13:14.955 --> 00:13:17.676
There are really good planners in the city of Raleigh.

00:13:17.676 --> 00:13:20.118
Most of them know exactly what they're doing.

00:13:20.118 --> 00:13:21.258
We've worked with them.

00:13:21.258 --> 00:13:23.383
They've put together a great timeline.

00:13:23.383 --> 00:13:32.392
I'll ask during the process once I get that timeline, which is usually two to three weeks before the wedding do you want me to direct questions through you, as in the wedding?

00:13:32.412 --> 00:13:34.633
Do you want me to direct questions through you, as in the wedding planner or the couple?

00:13:34.633 --> 00:13:46.803
Yeah, and you know, nine times out of 10 say just send me the questions and I'll get up with, you know, the bride and groom or the groom and the groom or whatever, and I'll make sure that you have everything you need and I may have 20 to 25 questions, Right, Everything from you know.

00:13:46.803 --> 00:13:53.095
Do I need to shorten these dances to where's the cocktail hour taking place if I've never been there, or where's the ceremony taking place?

00:13:53.095 --> 00:13:58.528
Like I might have 25, 30 questions going into this event and I very rarely knock on wood.

00:13:58.528 --> 00:14:00.559
Have somebody not send me that information?

00:14:00.981 --> 00:14:01.663
in plenty of time.

00:14:01.663 --> 00:14:04.684
So I always think that when I get something like this, like how did they get here?

00:14:04.684 --> 00:14:16.725
It's got to be one of two things Either DJ burned them at one point, yes or a planner doesn't know how to sell themselves is like trying to create more value.

00:14:16.745 --> 00:14:17.908
To be the person taking on the stress for the client.

00:14:17.908 --> 00:14:18.750
Those are the only two options.

00:14:18.750 --> 00:14:22.427
Right, because why would you want to create more work for yourself when you don't need to right?

00:14:22.589 --> 00:14:32.148
it's normally the they've been burned by a dj so with that, yes, I always try to circumvent that by saying hey, if you let me have this conversation, I have no problem with you being on the call.

00:14:32.288 --> 00:14:33.631
Yeah, like right join the call.

00:14:34.019 --> 00:14:36.668
Actually sometimes helps because they then trust me.

00:14:36.687 --> 00:14:48.043
Then going forward, yes, Because then they know I'm not some you know Some Yahoo yeah, and you're sitting there on the call and they're like this guy's pro Right, Right, and what I've also found is it allows me to talk up the planner Sure.

00:14:48.183 --> 00:14:48.423
Same.

00:14:48.423 --> 00:14:48.884
You know what I mean.

00:14:48.884 --> 00:14:58.673
I've done numerous first initial calls with the planner on, with their couple, and I'm just like listen, don't worry about doing this planning form for me, because you've hired a professional planner.

00:14:58.673 --> 00:15:02.899
I'm going to get the PDF and the planner's, just like you're cheering them on Right.

00:15:02.899 --> 00:15:06.345
You get off the call and the planner texts you and is just like yeah, thank you for hyping me up.

00:15:06.345 --> 00:15:12.192
Yep, yeah, good stuff, man, good man, good question, even though you hijacked it and wasn't sent in, but it is a great question.

00:15:12.251 --> 00:15:15.076
I think people are going to run into this at some point in their career.

00:15:15.076 --> 00:15:18.903
It happens not all the time, but good to know how to deal with it.

00:15:19.163 --> 00:15:20.645
Good one you want to wrap this one.

00:15:20.645 --> 00:15:20.986
Let's do it.

00:15:20.986 --> 00:15:22.188
Good stuff, guys.

00:15:22.188 --> 00:15:23.230
So thank y'all for listening.

00:15:23.230 --> 00:15:37.620
Now that we're what Five, four or five episodes into it, you're listening to your podcast.

00:15:37.620 --> 00:15:40.260
We'd appreciate that and hopefully it'll push us out to even more people.

00:15:40.260 --> 00:15:41.981
So thank y'all for listening.

00:15:41.981 --> 00:15:43.601
Back next week, see ya.